The Danger of What If

I've been so neglectful of this blog, probably because I've been slightly neglectful of my love life of late too. Mr. Potential has zero right now and Mr. (hell I don't even think I gave him a nickname) Other Guy I Was Dating has been nixed as well.

Turns out Mr. Other Guy was dating someone else at the same time and met her through the same friend as he met me. I'm not upset that he was dating someone else, there was certainly no exclusivity and no mention of not dating other people. Always assume they are dating someone else until the fact is made explicit that he (and you) aren't. Other Guy had already become extremely spotty in his communication (perhaps a result of having to date two or more people?), but I tend to keep a bit of what if... in my back pocket until it becomes finally, irrevocably true to me that it's done. Or more accurately that I'm done. Holding on too long is one of my great flaws.

From men to my career, it's hard for me to let go. Fear is of course that looming culprit. If I give up this guy who I do sort of like and who has maybe 7 out of the 10 things I want, what if the next guy has only 5? The wondering can drive you crazy and drive you to never get out. I have to tell myself that better may not always be the very next thing, because sometimes it isn't. In the long run, if you make your mistake, learn from it, and actually use that knowledge, better is bound to come down the road bearing ... oh maybe Mr. 8 out of 10 with it.

Potentially Awful

NIKKI

Mr. Potential and I went out for our third date Friday night. We met a few weeks ago at a party and dates one and two were great. The conversation flowed seamlessly from music to religion to food. He had a good sense of humor, though slightly corny but I've always had a soft spot for that. He isn't my typical type of guy, but then the trifecta of great phone calls, emails, and dates aren't typical either.

All week, I looked forward to Friday night, to seeing him in person and seeing if there was potential for more. We agreed to meet at 9:30 on Friday, after he would finally be finished with work at his high powered job. I found the outfit that was casual, yet sexy and applied my favorite perfume accordingly. The night before I'd gone on a hunt to find the right hair product and carefully attacked any pimples that might attempt to erupt. Friday night came and after drinks with my girlfriends, 9:30 began to approach. He sent me a text asking if we could meet a little later maybe 10? No problem, my girlfriends are still willing to hang out. We wend our way through 3 different neighborhoods, closer to where Mr. Potential and I had agreed to meet. Well, 10 came and went as did 10:30 and 11. My girlfriends have been troopers all night, but have to leave me. Still not a problem because he's sent me a text that he'll be there in 5 minutes. I make my way to the restaurant (it's about 11:30 now) to find the place closed. Diners already inside can get out, but I can't get in. NO problem because he'll be here in 5 minutes, hmm actually should have been here 10 minutes ago at this point...

Two and a half hours after we'd agreed to meet (that'd be midnight), he finally shows and I am pissed. I'm ravenous (I'd turned down food at every place I'd gone with my girlfriends, cold (sexy is not generally warm), and did I mention pissed? He was full of apologies and then jokes to try to remedy the situation, but sometimes you've gotten to a point where none of that is enough.

At one point, the prospect of a 4th date of even talking to this guy again was dying a slow and torturous death. I asked about his ex (brilliant move on my part), the waiter spilled water on him, and the conversation stalled at every turn. In a particularly evil move, I ordered a tuna nicoise salad, and when asked by the waiter if I was okay with the ancovies told him I was indeed. In my mind, there was zero prospect for a kiss so why not put an exclamation on the point.

But, somewhere in the last half an hour, things got drastically better. I made a joke and then he made one. We traded a few jabs about the night and suddenly even with anchovy on the breath (I did manage to find a piece of gum), I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. You never can tell how the night will end up and I'm looking forward to finding out how the 4th date goes.