Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Too Old for That?

We get older and we mark out lines that are no longer to be crossed. We won't get drunk like we used to in college. We won't go out if what we really want to do is sit on our couch. We won't avoid every vegetable that crosses our plate. We're too old for that, and it can be a good thing. We aren't kids anymore and we do our best to not act like it. When summer hits though, our minds begin to brim with all the kids like things we'd love to do. Eat ice cream too fast. Run through the sprinklers on a hot day. Maybe catch a firefly. I hope to never be too old for those things. Lately, though, there's definitely something I feel too old for: having a crush.

I see him and feel like the chubby, shy teenager I once was, my confidence diminished. I realize that the way I flirt with him is by verbally hitting him and running away. I can't always look him in the eye. I'm too old for this, I think. Way too old. Maybe though, after a couple of fruitless months of dating, of disappointments big (well maybe medium) and small, maybe this crush is like eating ice cream too fast. Neither is great as a long term life strategy, but both can be absolutely necessary to keep the giggling/walking in the grass barefoot/honeysuckle smelling feeling of summer alive. I might be too old for crushes and licking up 2 scoops of strawberry ice cream, but thoughts of either bring a huge smile to my face.