Sunday, February 25, 2007

Kings of the Forest?


Men. Cowardly lions, the lot of them. They roar and make a big show, but really they're scared of most everything. They are especially scared of open, honest conversations. Flashback to Sex and the City, if you would, and the Berger episode arc. This is the guy who broke up with Carrie on a Post-it, and the explanation of his friends pointed to women becoming hysterical and overly emotional. I have known men who had untreated scars from street fights and permanently disfigured fingers from aggressive basketball games. Physical is no problem, but emotional looms too large.

I know I told Nikki I would call her two weeks ago, but I'm afraid of what we might talk about. Instead, I'll forward her jokes and Youtube links. Or maybe I'll chat with her and act as if I don't remember I was supposed to call unless she brings it up.

I know that I have shown only a limited interest in Nikki. However, when she points this out, I will protest that it is only because she's shown a limited interest in me. I will become offended and cut off all communication in protest.

This may come as a shock to men, but I don't love those "serious" conversations. Dissection is often a favorite pasttime of women, but I'd rather talk about an outfit or the great meal I had the night before. I don't particularly want to interrogate you about why you haven't called when you said you would or where this is "going." I do it because as interesting as angst can be, I prefer clarity. I appreciate a "You are here" in my life's journey. Dorothy and the boys would have too, even the cowardly lion. So, boys: feel the fear but do it anyway.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Tomorrow Is Another Day


I have a sad confession: I really like the movie Gone with the Wind. I manage to put aside the cringe filled racial moments and the sweeping excess of the Southern whites. Even more, I have a soft spot for Scarlett O'Hara: the spoiled, childlike heroine. By the time Rhett tells Scarlett that he doesn't give a damn, he has more than enough reason. She has been in love with someone else for virtually their entire marriage, barred him from her bedroom because she no longer wants to sleep with him, and when in one night of drunken passion she does get pregnant tells him in a speech that includes the words "I wish [the father] were anyone but you." Scarlett leads me to a simple and anti-feminist conclusion: women are stupid. For years, without regard to the situation or any firm grasp of reality, Scarlett pines for Ashley Wilkes, a sad sap of a man who couldn't hold a candle to Rhett. Scarlett slowly comes to her senses about Rhett, but never says what she truly feels and even more pushes away every overture he makes to repair their relationship. Scarlett seems as dense as they come, the rest of us aren't always so far behind.

Who hasn't kept dating the guy who has given you indications that he isn't best for you? Who hasn't called the guy who didn't call when he said he would because you thought of a plausible enough reason as to why? Those would definitely be me. Who hasn't alienated the one man who truly loved you and doted on your daughter, spoiling her with trips to London and a pony? Well, that's only Scarlett.

But if I might channel Scarlett a bit, as God is my witness I vow to not be stupid anymore! At least until I fall hard for someone else.

After all, tomorrow is another day.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

For a True Gentleman


Well, if the original mission was to have someone on Valentine's Day then I have something akin to a C. I spent a portion of the day with a man and there was some nice affection given as well as a sweet if slightly half hearted "Happy Valentine's Day" greeting.

There was also a reminder that my dad really knows how to treat a lady. Late afternoon yesterday (you'll understand if you live in NYC why it wasn't morning), I received a dozen roses in a candy striped vase. Tucked amongst the red and white blooms was this note: "From Your Very First Admirer, Love Dad." My closest friends have loved my father for years. They are women who either don't know their dads or aren't very close to him. They love the long winded stories at which I secretly roll my eyes. They don't know about his tendency to hear without listening or that he's not the neatest guy or the most patient, but the man certainly has his shining moments.

If every girl is secretly or overtly (Gina I mean you) looking for her father, then I think when I find the right guy for me (or if the right guy should ever act right) he'll be great. He'll have a way with words that reveal an amazing heart.

So to my very first admirer, the feeling is mutual Daddy.