NIKKI

I’ve been told I’m relationship prone, and two of my girlfriends seem convinced that I always have someone or am never too far from it. Two other girlfriends pegged me as the marrying kind a couple of years ago. I deny every one of those characterizations, even though I prefer relationships to dating and I was that little girl who imagined the details of her wedding. I will admit that finding people I like hasn't really been a problem. Of course, I like some more than others, but in my post-college adulthood I have found good boyfriend material. Some of my girlfriends complain that never meet anyone in whom they have a real interest, and have gone years without meeting one. So lately, I've started to wonder, am I imagining chemistry with these guys? Is my loneliness overcompensating for character flaws that should have otherwise ruled them out? At the end of it, of course, I see it all clearly. I'll know that he was a good guy, but not the guy for me. I'll look back and know that I could have never been happy with someone who didn't find Vince Vaughn f-ing hilarious.

Maybe I'm slower than other women, and some people spot on the first date what it takes me months to accept. But if I had written them all off at the first sign of less than perfection, I would know less about what is actually perfect for me. I would have never known that the guy who is right for me doesn't need to love foreign food like I do, because I had that and it didn't matter. The guy for me also doesn't need to be as fiery as I am about politics or social change, because I had that and it got on my damn nerves. I don't regret any of my experiences, but maybe it is time for a different tactic.

So, this is a different tactic. Only recently have I found the ability to like dating just for the sake of dating. If you find someone you like and who likes you, what’s wrong with getting into a relationship? Except I know I have to watch where I step because sometimes the two of you together just aren’t made for that, and sometimes you still have an ex you need to get over, and sometimes you’re getting into a relationshp only because you want someone to cuddle with and be your reliable Friday night date. But maybe, that’s just relationship prone me.