Baggage

NIKKI

I have a habit of carrying too much stuff with me when I go to work. Whenever I take the time to actually go through my bag, I discover receipts for candy bars from CVS, expired Metrocards, and usually 20 different pieces of paper that I no longer need. I'll keep hauling it day in and day out, wondering why my bag is so heavy and why my shoulder is starting to ache. Some days it's easier to carry all my old junk around, than to go through and figure out what's actually worth keeping. I do this with my purses and I do this about men.

I'm not bitter about men or about relationships, but sometimes I do carry around too much stuff. My current crush--the karaoke singing, smart, sexy one--got me to unload some of my stuff the other night. Well, not him on his own, but one of my girlfriends. Karaoke and I have been missing each other still, leaving messages and missed calls in our wake. I had started to give up on ever talking to him, wondering whether he was even worth my time or as interested as I thought. He's just not that into me I would say. I deleted his number, told myself who cares, he's missing out! The backlash had begun despite momentary lapses into "but we had such a good time." My girlfriend, who knows him, stopped that in its tracks the other night with a simple suggestion: give him another chance, he really is a good guy.

Was I hauling extra stuff into this situation? Was I cluttering up one circumstance with others from my own experience and those of my friends? The iPod must have heard my cry because it picked just the right song for me: Bag Lady by Erykah Badu.

Bag Lady you go'n hurt your back/ Dragging all them bags like that

So, I decided to pack light, put away some of the what ifs and worries of what he might think to pursue something that could be worth it. And if it doesn't work? If I pack light only to find that I'm left with the same baggage? Well, I always end up needing to clean my purse out again anyway.