The Waiting Game

NIKKI

I hate dating someone I actually like. Backwards perhaps, but true. Nothing is better and nothing is worse than those butterflies of anticipation, except I seem to have not just butterflies, but the entire animal kingdom running wild in my stomach. How am I supposed to be my fun, flirty, cute self when I feel like I had bad fish for lunch? Even worse is dating someone you like and the date actually going well, going better than you even expected. Case in point, my date this week. I got a night of karaoke and sake from a guy I wouldn't have suspected had it in him. We sang some Motown duets and he sang me a love song. In between, there was great conversation and just enough sexual tension to make it interesting. He's smart and sexy, intellectual and ambitious and .. we haven't had a conversation since. No, no don't worry he called and I called, we've just managed to only engage in a lackadaisical game of phone tag.

So, here's the other part I hate: waiting. Waiting for the next phone call, the next "So are you busy on Friday....," and waiting to go out again and see if the first date was a fluke. You check your voicemail incessantly, pore over every detail of the date in your head and with your girlfriends to the point where you even disgust yourself. Sometimes I wish for a guy who is just okay, one who can hold a decent conversation, is fairly attractive, and says one or two things that let you know this isn't going to work. Your girlfriends ask you how the date went and you say something about how nice a guy he is and how you could definitely be friends with him. No butterflies and no sparkling conversation, but also no stress. Uh I'll be back, gotta check my voicemail...